“Because sex is more than just a physical act of pleasure. It strips us, if just for a moment, of all of our social masks, and bares our physical desires (and some might argue, our souls) to the other person. While men may deny that happens, I can’t help but believe it does. Maybe not in everyone, but I think in more men than research shows.”
Some of my fellow students put together this pretty incredible video about the uniqueness of how MHGS approaches ‘the other’. It’s one of the reasons I am fond and am grateful for MHGS.
mhgs what no. 2 from blaine hogan on Vimeo.
Lisa Kudrow is Fiona Wallace, a ‘web therapist’. She figures that 47 or the 50 minute sessions are mainly talk about nothing important, so 3 minutes is all you need. This is some great satire.
2 More episodes seen here: http://lstudio.lexus.com/#vid1205
Our sexuality is not a mere biological function; rather it is the impulse of something far greater and more meaningful than the thrill of an orgasm can satisfy. We emote sexual feelings because we seek impact and connection. We seek to find what it is that we were created for; to get inside of someone and to have someone get inside of us. It is of no surprise that in dealing with these longings our sexual being becomes difficult to ignore. We cannot escape the arousal and excitement when the reality of these longings is highlighted. We hope to seduce and be seduced into experiencing the other in such a way that a mere biological function feels apathetic at best. While there are many biological aspects of our sexuality as humans, there exists too great of an emotional connection to our sexual being that prevents biology from reigning supreme.
- A couple sitting outside, very intently engaged. She has a quizzical look on her face often changing between compassion and confusion. She isn’t talking very much, just listening. He is drinking from a travel coffee mug adorned with a rox shox sticker and a carabeener. On his backpack is a bike lock with the brake handles from a mountain bike hanging beneath the lock. At one point, he gently pulls the hair back on her head and whispers something into her ear. She smiles.
- Two women sitting next to me, one with papers and folders. She’s intent on making sure that her counterpart knows that she is being honest and is shooting things straight. She has said at least 5 times in the past 5 minutes “I’m going to be as honest as I can be.” The other lady is shaking her head in agreement, yet is very timid and anxious.
- A guy sitting outside, reading a large book (like a coffee table book), drinking coffee, and stroking his beard. He occasionally looks up to see what is going on around him, but not for long. He just put his yellow rain jacket on, and is getting up to leave. His pace is quick and with a goal in mind.
- A dad with three girls who all appear to be 2-3 years old. Prior to sitting down, the dad pointed very sternly at one of the girls, whom I am assuming is his daughter, and in a raised voice said “I’m going to get a straw, listen to me, I’m going to get a straw.”
Me. Sitting at a table, a cup of water, a half-full americano, an empty cookie plate, a computer, bag, and phone. I’m reading and writing about people outside this cafe when I’d much rather put my things away and sit with each of the people I’ve described here, and listen to their stories. I’d rather fantasize about them, their conversations, their longings and why they are here. What is it that they are looking for
Recent questions I have been thinking about as I move towards entering the field as a therapist. These questions come from a class on the issues of sexuality and therapy.
- How do we allow our clients to impact us, but not dismantle us?
- How is the analytic relationship altered when seduction enters?
- Can the powers of sexuality and seduction exist in an analytic relationship without a moral failure (either on the patient or analyst’s behalf).
- Can I withstand the seduction of the other, and why would I want (or not want) to?
- How does the notion of sex being a biological function change the way an analyst would approach their clients?
I was watching a video online the other day, and had a stoke of genius. How will my kids fare growing up in a digital economy, specifically in the age of digital media?
During this video, the speaker was showing some pictures of himself as a kid. You’ve seen these kinds of pictures from the 1950’s, and earlier. They’re brown/sepia, torn edges, faded, and are few and far between. If my parents, or this speaker, wanted to go back and look at the memories of the family, they would have a tough time doing this from their childhood. There just aren’t many images or videos that they can go back and look at. Part of me wonders if this is more beneficial than the digital picture craze that we currently live in.
I’ve spent many moments with my kids in the past few years closing my eyes and trying to imprint the image of their faces, their bodies, their voices onto my ‘memory.’ As I sit here typing, I am finding it difficult to remember those moments, even though one such moment was less than a week ago. Naturally I’m wondering why that is the case, and immediately my thoughts go to iPhoto on my mac. In a simple very easy to manage photo program resides the memories of 7 years captured by digital film. If I forget the face of my daughter when she was 2 years, 4 months old, I’ve got a picture for it. The point is, our lives are documented in so many different ways.
With the invention of film, we created an ability to capture life and preserve the memories associated with it. I have many fond memories that are spurred on because of some pictures. I get to see the scene, the people, the setting, and the movement from when the picture was taken. Some of these memories have led me to great joy, while others have led me to prfound saddness. I want to forget some things, and nothing short of lighting the pictures on fire will aid in that act of forgetting.
Where am I going with this post? Some of the pictures I’ve seen have challenged my perceptions about life. I’ve begun to look ‘deeper’ into videos and pictures of my childhood, wonder what was happening beyond the lens, beyond the film, beyond technology. What interests me about this topic is of the next generation. My kids, as mentioned above, will have the ability to examine so much more of their lives due to the sheer volume of information that has been devoted to their lives. We have over 4,000 total pictures in our digital library …. that’s roughly 5 years of pictures.
My questions about all of this is whether all of this information is aiding in the collection of memories, good and bad, on a computer disk or in the minds of my kids? Will they find it difficult to remember life because if they need to, all of their memories can be accesed with a few clicks of the mouse? And finally, will they know more about the failure and pain that they grew up in due to the sheer volume of pictures and videos?
Here’s some fancy photos of young-me 
What do you fear?
Fears: Ranked from childhood through parenthood
(with thanks to Ray Federman)
1. Fear of the dark
Under the bed.
Inside the closet.
Between leap and landing (floor to bed).
(Related) Long arm reaching out from under bed.
2. Fear of separation
Lost in a crowd (accidental).
Lost in a crowd (on purpose).
Lost in the woods (either).
3. Fear of abandonment
Parents dying.
Parents divorcing.
One parent moving.
Parents remarrying.
4. Fear of wicked stepparent
I’ve been adding some blogs to my daily reading list lately, and thought I’d share some of them.
. Creativityist. Explores the art of creating. A creativityist is one who practices creativity. In this blog you will find some techniques, and maybe some inspiration. But mostly, it’s journeying together to meet the artist in each of us.
. MindHacks. A blog based on a book that explores what’s going on inside your brain.
. Furious Seasons. A blog about the state of mental health care in America. I found this blog through my good friend Karen. Interesting reads and takes on psychology, culture, and the sciences.
. 100 Words. I haven’t yet begun using this site/idea yet. It’s been a concept that I’ve considered for quite some time. Writing in daily doses to keep the creativity and exercise going for the brain. Perhaps I’ve not done this yet due to my overwhelming school schedule.
I haven’t fully developed my dissertation that will look at Personality disorders (narcissism, bi-polar, borderline, etc) as seen in larger contexts (religion, marriages, race, and others), but here’s a great look into what I’d consider a prime example of a narcissistic religion (or cult, if you will). More thoughts on this later…
Watch the full video here: http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientology-tried-to-suppress
